Two Weeks 'Til The Rest of my Life
As I write this blog, I am curled up in my favorite chair one muscle relaxer in, with a heating pad wrapped around my back and a heated blanket covering my stomach. For the last two days, I have been in some top tier pain.
Yesterday marked two weeks until the surgery that could change this all for me. No more severe pain, days with the heating pad, muscle relaxers, wincing when walking, or nearly getting sick from how tight my muscles are wound.
Honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared of surgery to begin with... I barely like taking medication, let alone getting cut open five times while I'm knocked out. I'm scared that nothing will change - I'm so jaded by the years of not getting the right fix. I'm scared of how much Sheila, the cyst / mass causing a lot of these issues, has grown since the last scan.
But, it's pretty badass that in two weeks I can finally start the next stage of my life.
Maybe that seems dramatic, but if you've ever had chronic pain - you get it.
The past two days I've had to cancel social and professional commitments to lay on my couch in waves of pain. These have been two of the most recent 'bad days', but there's been so, so many over the past few years.
I can't wait for the day until the only strong memory I have of my pain days comes from writing this blog.
There's a lot that's still unknown, and will continue to be until I'm all stitched up on surgery day, but this is the biggest step in the best direction that has been made.
The Invisible Illness series will be published weekly, detailing my journey with chronic pelvic pain and the various treatments I am prescribed.